Bold Predictions: 2017 NFL Draft

Will this be the year that the Cleveland Browns don’t blow it?

I mean, Kevin Costner even took the Browns from incompetent to intelligent in the movie Draft Day, so maybe their front office can at least copy that?

All kidding aside, the Browns and Bengals both have the most picks in this draft, with 11 a piece. That leaves them a lot of room to try and improve their rosters (keyword: “try”).

But what else will occur on draft night? Look no further than my trusty Magic 8 Ball, which was hard to read through the cloudy water, but gave me some solid predictions to fall back on.

Reluctance to take a quarterback early

The Browns, Bears, Jets and Niners all might want one. The Texans need one, and the Cardinals, Jags, and Chiefs could be looking for one too.

Oh, and the Saints, Steelers, and Giants might want to get the heir to their franchise quarterback as well.

But I think that the value of the top picks will prove to be too much for these teams to take an iffy quarterback high in this draft. Even the Browns at pick 12 won’t take one!

That doesn’t mean one of those teams won’t move back into the first round once the panic sets in.

Look for a trade

Maybe not from the Steelers, who are always at odds with moving around from their original spot, but perhaps from one of those teams listed above, especially Cleveland or Cincy, who have a lot of picks to deal.

Face it: they will not be able to keep all eleven players drafted. So why try?

Who falls out of the first round

Sorry, but Gareon Conley’s story is way too strange to offset some teams right now. It could backfire, but I don’t see him falling from the first round.

Ditto for Reuben Foster.

Jabrill Peppers, however, is this year’s candidate to slide from the first into the second. Diluted drug test and no idea what position he fits will confuse even the most enamored of suitors. (I’m looking at you Jerry Jones.)

Kizer goes to the Jets

Because why not? He’s already bragging that he’s some combination of Fergie and Jesus.

No that wasn’t it, but he did say something about being like Tom Brady and Cam Newton in the same body.

He’s a perfect fit for a Jets team that will still struggle this year. Let the New York media chew him up and make him into Butt Fumble v2.

Eagles fans will hate their pick

The draft is being held in the city of brotherly love. Too bad the city is a rabid fanbase filled with negativity. I can’t see a single pick in the first round or two that they’ll react positively too. No. Matter. What.

Someone will screw a name up

With names like Tanoh Kpassagnon, that’s almost a given. What I’m really looking forward to is the awkward announcement of the Oakland/Las Vegas Raiders picks, with their third-day selections being announced live from the Strip in Las Vegas.

The LA Chargers (formerly San Diego) should be fun too. Let’s see if anyone remembered that the Rams moved last year too.

I’m willing to be good money that someone flubs on one or all of the above. (The safe money bet is on calling him “Tan-oh” by the way.)

The draft analysts will be wrong

Count on it. I’ll be wrong. They’ll be wrong. No way anyone gets this right. There’s even a possibility that Cleveland doesn’t take Myles Garrett!

Finally, everyone will be talking about the Patriots

And I don’t know why either.

Yes, they won the Super Bowl. I’m over it.

This is the NFL Draft, and they are tied for the fewest picks with six. They also don’t have a selection until 72 overall in the third round, which is well into Friday night’s telecast.

Do. Not. Care. About. New England.

But someone will be gushing over their draft brilliance regardless of them picking anyone.


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